Transference

It's like I stepped in a time-machine and transported back in time.  This feeling started unconsciously thursday night, when I had snuck outside to grab a smoke.  The wind was blowing something fierce and in the not-too-far distance I could hear wind chimes clanging madly.  From inside the house, Spoon's new release "Transference" was blaring.  Since I don't smoke so much anymore, I copped a pretty decent buzz from the smoke.  Reminding me of a time when I was much younger, hanging in the back yard of a little house in a college town, listening to incredibly talented musicians jam.  One, in particular, who would never remember me in a million years - but hit the big time.  He would remember a friend of mine, I have no doubt.  Although I've lost contact with that friend too.  So, for all I know they are still hanging in some backyard somewhere jamming.  This tangent has a point, and that is "Transference" takes me back to precisely that time.  Which is really ironic.

from Wikipedia:   "According to The Source published in June 2001, "During transference, people turn into a 'biological time machine.'" A nerve is struck when someone says or does something that reminds you of your past. This creates an "emotional time warp" that transfers your emotional past and your psychological needs into the present."

Friday night was spent at the firepit in the back yard with two of my best friends, and still....."Transference" playing in the background.  I was feeling exactly like I did in the days of hanging out by the river with a campfire burning, and watching the flames dance - in search of answers to questions I had about  my future.  Interesting how those questions never seem to be answered.  We keep on keeping on. We keep having a future and we want to know how it's going to go down. Some things never change and that isn't necessarily a bad thing.

Saturday morning I went to my first official knitting lesson at the coolest little yarn shop ever.  Not just a yarn shop, but a boutique as well.  Even cooler is they carry one of my favorite perfumes that I had been looking for for a while now.  A scent that takes me back - inhaling it and evoking feelings of fearlessness and pure abandon, unlimited creativity and adventure. Sitting at the table were 3 other women who were a good bit older than me and while I was enjoying myself and learning a lot, I was feeling out of my element.  I was wondering how in the hell I got to this stage of life that I am sitting with older women knitting.  Me.  The wild child, Buckhead Fuckhead (a whole other story), once starving-artist turned quasi-successful, offbeat hairdresser.  I am knitting, in public....frigging taking a class.  Just as I reached the edge of a panic attack, a punky young girl walks in.  Early twenties with black scene hair, Killers t-shirt and skully sneakers with a 5-foot long scarf in tow that she is still working on.  She took the seat next to me and we both smiled.  I was instantly back in high school.  All of a sudden, knitting was cool again and my new friend and I talked about coffee shops, hair, bands and gaming on the net.   I'll be going back.  Cool kids can knit too.

Saturday night was Cuban food and a movie.  We were the only Americans in the restaurant and I was reminded of the days when I hung out with my Greek friend in places owned by her friends and family.  Me being the only non-Greek.  It's a role I felt incredibly comfortable in.  Looking back, it's a role I've found myself in repeatedly.....the only "non-whatever" in the place.  I like being the 'non'.......'Non is Good."

Post-movie was spent drinking Cupcake Cab with my bud. "Transference" once again playing in the background while we gave each other assessments from an old book I found about self-discovery.  To be completely honest, I don't remember much due to the wine - but I can tell you that I am an "11" which is a good thing I'm told.  I can't help wondering if 11 is the number of 'non'.

So many things this weekend took me back in time.  I have no idea if the new Spoon release had anything to do with it.  It's nothing new and different from the band and seems like a sampling from previous albums as far as lyrics and melodies.  The thing that took me back was the sound, the "unfinishedness" of it, jumping around from one thing to another which is apparently what the band was going for - to sound more like a demo than a final production.

melodia